Body for Life is not my life.

I've had a couple of folks attempt to load a bit of guilt upon me for slipping off the program these last couple of weeks. I think that they may mean well and are just trying to be supportive in some fitness goals that I have, but let me gently say something....while I like the BFL program, it is not a template for my life.

I have other things going on. I have a job in which I'm devoted. I have friends. I have family. Most importantly right now to me is that I've found a woman that I have fallen deeply in love with and she with me. I've never had a relationship quite like this one before and truly feel that I have, at long last, found my soulmate. That's important to me and perusing the potential of this relationship takes priority over measured meals and carefully planned exercise.

Body for Life is still important to me. I've learned a lot of skills and do believe that I am much healthier because of using it's principles. I intend to continue with the challenge to transform my body and will probably begin documentation in July....but I have no need to transform my life. I'm happier than I've ever been.

current music: You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC

Sweet Summertime

Well...I may have to re-start this challenge. Something very nice had begun developing with a special person in my life and, to tell the truth, exercise and six portioned meals a day are not my priority right now. I have been watching my diet, so I'm not exploding or anything. I just want to concentrate on this relationship right now and see where it goes.

I'll be back, though. Count on it.

current music: Night Moves - Bob Seger

Tongue-Tied & Twisted

There's no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, a state of bliss



Day 24

current music: Learning to Fly - Pink Floyd

Feelin' Groovy

Ain't it just amazing how someone can bump into your life, totally unexpected, and make even a Monday morning look special?

Day 22

current music: The 59th Street Bridge Song - Simon & Garfunkel

Father's Day

Here's a photo of the finest man I have ever known. I can't even begin to describe how much I owe to him.

Thanks Dad. I love you.

There's a difference in what you want.....

and what you are willing to do to get what you want. It seems like many people can't quite get that concept. Take me, for example. I want to lose a bunch of weight and put on some muscle. I want to look good, feel good, and be healthy. Who doesn't? I don't know anybody that wants to look like a bloated bag of fat and feel crappy all the time.

So...how to go from wanting to getting? Ah, there's the rub. What am I willing to give up to get what I want? An hour of sitting in front of the TV or computer every day? The ten minute pleasure of eating a pile of junk food? Am I willing to go to the gym at five in the morning rather than try to wake up with a couple of cups of coffee, or sleep in for an extra hour or two? Am I willing to put up with the pain that comes with pushing my exercise to my body's limits each and every time?

These are questions I ask myself every day. It is the reason I take those photos of myself. Do you think I like looking at them, much less plastering them on my blog for the world to see? Hell no! I do it to remind me of where I am and how different it is from where I want to be. These are photos that get me out the door and into the gym. These are photos that give me the urge to grab a Myoplex rather than a pizza.

And maybe...just maybe....as time goes on and the photos get better...they will offer some small encouragement to somebody else out there who thinks that, because they are fat and old, there is no point in wanting anything better. I'm out to prove it can be done.

Day 20

current music: Hush - Deep Purple

I'm in it for real now.

Because I've spent some serious money.....at least serious to me at this time. I bought a shipment which includes: 20 packs of Myoplex original shakes, 4 Myoplex RTD's, a 5lb jug of Myopro Whey, a 4lb jug of Phosphagen, CLA capsules, Porter Freeman's new book (which really speaks to guys my age), a workout CD, the complete collection of Body for Life DVD's, and a spiffy water bottle. All this stuff won't give me a fabulous bod, of course, but it will help and I could use all the help I can get. There is also the fact that I feel as if I have invested a chunk of change into this challenge.....so I have more incentive to see it through.

Now I'm off to mix up a Myoplex. How could it not taste good....it's chocolate.

Day 18

current music: Never Been Any Reason - Head East

You people must be blind....

Or very kind. I was reading over the comments about my photos and, I must say, I'm grateful for the support. Most stated that they see a significant difference in the last couple of weeks. It even appears that I have excited one fellow who seems to believe that it ranks right up there with his favorite gay porn.

I do appreciate it all. Thank you. Believe me when I say that it helps. It helps during those times when I feel like there is no progress and it would just be easier to forget this crazy challenge and go back to a normal life. A life where I didn't think about exercise. Where I didn't give a damn what I ate or how much or when. The life that got me where I am today.

Sure would be easier but, then again, I should practice what I preach. I always tell others that wishing for something is easy, but will not get you anything. Going after a goal is no guarantee that you will get anything either....but the odds are better. So, with that in mind, I'm off for a lower body workout.

Day 17

current music: Paranoid - Black Sabbath

Two Weeks

Well...here's a comparison. Not all that much difference in fourteen days. I think that the gut hangs a bit less and, though it can't be seen in the photos, there is more muscle tone in my arms and legs. My weight is 211 lbs, an increase of one and a half pounds...but my bodyfat percentage is 31.5, down two percentage points. I think that one thing that is hindering me is pigging out on my free day. Towards the end of the week I really start to drop weight, only to inch it back up for the beginning of a new week. The BFL program says to eat whatever you want as much as you want.....but I'm starting to think that, if I seriously want to get to where I want to go, I need to limit that free day to just splurging on one meal rather than snacking on all the fat foods I deny myself through the week. Besides, come Monday, I always feel bloated and sluggish....mainly due to all the crap I shovel in my mouth the day before.

Why do I post these embarassing photos?

To keep myself honest.

I am the world's champ when it comes to squinting at the mirror. I can avert my eyes from the gut, scrunch up my eyes, and say...."hey, looking pretty good". The camera doesn't squint. The camera shows me how I really am, how others see me. It shows me how much I've done and how far I have to go.

Embarassing? Hell yeah! I just hope that this embarassment turns to pride when, week after week, the photos show a slow transformation to a body for my life.

Day 15

current music: Tubthumping - Chumbawamba

Just Another Rainy Sunday...

It can stop raining just any time now. Really. I've had enough, thank you.

This screws up my weekly grocery missions. I've been trying to plot out my meals for the week, then write up a menu of things that I will need. I do this on my free day so that I won't be tempted to buy any junk and Sunday seems to be a good day to shop because there seems to be fewer people out doing the same.....I guess most are home watching the tube, eating with family, going to church, or whatever. Anyway, it's a nice little way to prep myself for the week to come by stocking my pantry and fridge with good, healthy foodstuffs.

But I can't do that when it rains. See, I have a pickup truck. I love my little truck. Comfy. Drives great. It's incredibly handy for carrying things around. Ask anybody who has a pickup and they will tell you they will never drive anything else if they have a choice. It's hard to explain but if you have one, you understand. The drawback is that I can't carry home groceries in the bed of the pickup in rain or snow. So, I'll have to put off shopping until the sun shines again. By then, I'll be into another week of the challenge and probably hungry.....hungry for all the wrong stuff. A test of will power for somebody who has a will that shouldn't be tested too often.

I probably should track down and thank the anonymous poster who left a comment about my daughter. Because of him, I got a lot of good comments and introduced to some really good blog sites. He actually did me a favor...though he's still an asshole.

DANG! It's raining again!

Day 14

current music: Addicted to Love - Robert Palmer

Fire in the hole!

Something that a lot of people have noticed is that I don't bad-mouth my ex wife. That's because I don't hate her. I guess a man is expected to wail and rail against his ex but I can't really muster up that emotion, nor do I see the point in doing so. I spent a decade married with her and there were a lot of things I really liked about her. One of those things was that she was an excellent cook.

Which spoiled me. I've forgotten how to prepare any type of meal that doesn't involve a microwave.

Well, I decided to do something about that yesterday. I took the time and effort to make myself a really nice egg-white omelet. Now...when you take the yolks out, it makes it healthier but it leaves it basically with no flavor at all. To zip it up, I threw in a bunch of jalapenos and onions. For a side, I had a small serving of pinto beans, also with jalapenos and onions. It was surprisingly good! I congratulated myself on preparing a tasty and healthy meal and vowed to do more cooking in the future.

Then...about 6am this morning...I had to run to the bathroom....



Whew! I thought it was hot going in. My bathroom could still probably be designated a bio-hazard. My cat usually, for some strange reason, likes to sit and watch me do my business in the morning. I'm certain that she will be suffering some type of trauma because I haven't seen her since.

Day 13

current music: American Woman - The Guess Who

Anonymous

Well, I guess it had to happen. I know of several other people who have personal blogs that have received personally insulting comments. Of course, they are always anonymous. Some pathetic little twerp getting his jollies by fantasizing that he is a big tough man....but, naturally, way too scared to actually show his sorry ass in public. I say "he", though I guess it could be a female. It just seems that this sort of person is usually some useless blob who's given up on having any type of a life...spending all day stroking his flaccid penis with one hand and cramming Cheetos into his greasy face with the other while surfing all day on the computer. My experience has been that women generally have more class and self respect.

I probably should have just erased the comment in the post I wrote the other day with a photo of my daughter, but I responded...just because I know the little assnugget will return to read his witty dropping. I'll probably trash it soon, along with this part of the post and any reference to somebody who means nothing to nobody.

My gut is shrinking! There's still a bulge, but it's definitely getting flatter and my chest and shoulders are getting bigger. It's kinda scary, actually, but it sure inspires me to give it my all on cardio days.

Day 11

current music: Sugar Magnolia - Grateful Dead

It sucks being middle aged...

Today I had one of those little reminders of mortality that comes with being a man in his late forties. Just after lunch, I experienced a sharp pain, like a band of metal, across my chest. With a friend's recent heart attack fresh in my memory, my first thought was....oh shit. I immediately stood up and, not knowing what else to do, popped a couple of aspirin in the hope that I wouldn't die in my damn office on top of a mountain of paperwork.

It turns out it was just a muscle cramp, probably from chest presses at the gym. No heart problems. My blood pressure is a bit high and I need to look into that...but I think that I'll be okay, other than the scare I received. Just one more reminder that people my age can and do keel over dead all the time. I guess I need that to remind me to take each day as a precious gift because...who knows if I'll get another one. There is certainly no guarantees, no matter how healthy a life I try to lead.

I wanted to put up some photos but I can't find the memory stick for my camera. I did lose a bit of weight over the last week though...2lbs. Not much but if I can maintain that pace, I will reach my goal by the end of this challenge.

Day 9

current music: Killer Queen - Queen

Birthday Girl

This is my daughter, Sasha. Ain't she good-looking? She has a smile that's been lighting up my life for 24 years. This photo was taken yesterday at a museum where she volunteers as a period interpreter. Sasha has always been something of a history buff and this gives her a chance to immerse herself into the life of Wichita around the 1860's. The photo doesn't show the discomfort she is experiencing wearing a big heavy dress with a corset underneath during a hot and humid day. Since she was in character, Sasha denied that she was sweating....."men sweat, ladies dew".

Tomorrow, to balance the beauty above, I'll be posting my photos and stats to see if there has been any changes over the week. I wanted to go to GNC and stock up on some Myoplex, but I'm a bit poor right now. I'm not broke...I just get nervous unless I have a good cushion in my bank account.

I'm going to try to go to bed early tonight. One of the problems that I've been having with the program is getting enough sleep. From everything I've read, I should get at least 7 hours of solid sleep....eight would be better. I'm lucky if I get five. It's usually a lot less.

Day 7

current music: Firing Line - Allman Brothers Band

Day Off

This is a current photo from the balcony of my apartment. It has finally stopped raining after pouring all day.....this day....the one day in which I've taken off to relax and enjoy myself...catch up on my reading while soaking up the sun by the pool, and perhaps take a dip or two. You can just see the handlbar of my bicycle, of which I was hoping to ride on some trails today. Instead; I spend most of the day inside, cleaning my place, catching up on bills, flipping through incredibly dull programs on TV, and watching my cat sleep. I did get out for a run to Jiffy Lube to service my pickup.

Oh well....I guess I did relax.

The challenge goes well. I'm switching my free day to Saturday because I'm going to take my daughter out to eat for her birthday. My daughter has a healthy appetite, like her old man, so I don't want to inhibit her enjoyment by watching my portions.

Day 5

current music: Paradise By the Dashboard Light - Meat Loaf

My Bleeding Heart....

...is just about tapped out. Now I'm all for the concept that we, as a society, have a duty to take care of the members of our society. Not only does it help to ultimately improve the conditions of our society, it's just the right thing to do. We are our brother's keeper because, if not us, then who?

But....dang.....I have my limits.

I run across a lot of people who seem to have gotten the idea that the universe owes them. It owes them a house, transportation, food, and money. These people have generally screwed up their own lives by their own behavior and pissed away everything that they've ever had. I'm not really condemning that....I've done it myself a couple of times, we all make mistakes and I've made some beauties in my life. What puts a knot in my drawers is the attitude that I am responsible for fixing it in other people's lives.

So, here's how to fix it.

Get a job. Labor seems to be a dirty word these days. Nobody wants to do something that will get their hands dirty or may require that they break out in a sweat. I know it sucks to work in a dead-end low paying shit job, but with work comes a little pride and sense of self worth that cannot be obtained by begging complete strangers for spare change.

Get sober. I know way too many people that are drunks and addicts who want to improve their miserable lives, but still want to drink and drug. Can't do it, ya gotta pick one or the other. This is a fact of life I learned myself the hard way.

When I run across people who are willing to do those two things, I will move heaven and earth to help them. They can have the shirt off my back as well as my socks and skivvies. For those that will not and spend their lives demanding that others give them what they are not willing to earn....screw 'em.

Day 4

current music: Ramble On - Led Zeppelin

I Need Mah Tunes

I have one of these...


...a nifty little toy that I carry along to the gym every day. It's very handy because it's small and doesn't get in the way of the (ahem) large muscles I have around my waist. The thing holds 128 MB of music, which is way more than what I need to get through an hour of exercise. I've found that music helps a great deal because....let's face it...lifting weights or doing cardio is about as exciting as watching your toenails grow. Music helps pump the energy in my body and keeps my mind amused at the same time.

As I said, I love this little toy. It's the most important piece of fitness equipment I own. The only problem I have is that it sucks batteries dry at an alarming, and expensive, rate. The product info says that the battery will "last up to 10 hours of continuous play". Maybe....if the battery was made of plutonium. I'm lucky if I get half of that, it's usually three or four hours before the thing peters out. I suppose that I could get some of those rechargable batteries, and I may have to. Nothing is worse than to have the music stop right in the middle of an intense workout.

I DRAGGED myself to the gym this morning for a lower body workout. Gawd, I didn't want to go. Went to bed late last night and wanted to do nothing more than suck down coffee this morning. I went, though, and feel better about doing it....even if I had to do half of it without musical accompaniment.

Day 3

current music: Natural Disaster - Lonnie Mack